The Feeling You Get

You know the feeling you get when you see someone of the opposite sex and they capture your attention? It seems to simply dazzle you or make the world go still for a moment. You know the sensation that comes up from the depths of your soul next your stomach and urges you to see what that person is doing? These feelings are a wondrous thing. To think someone has the power to invoke the the very fabric of what an emotion is and set it ablaze inside of you. I find it interesting that we as humans seem to go above and beyond stupid when it comes to someone we may or may not know but for some reason are drawn to. The funny thing is that even though we may or may not have a connection with this person, we keep trying. Sometimes these pan out and people are happy together. Other times it doesn't. But it is the beginning and middle that make us continue to repeat this pattern. Some will say that it's for love, and to find the right person. Which is correct but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the emotions, the feelings the things we do during these stages. I believe in these simple moments of looking at that person or speaking with them we are truly living. So many times we go through life as a routine and things begin to stagnate. But if most people recall the beginning of their relationships, or crushes, it brings up memories of the beginning of the search. Ones that they haven't forgotten.

When it happens it's like a small quiet voice. Wow he or she looks cute, or who is that person? It seems so trivial but the train of thought that starts from it leads to you thinking differently and acting in a none normal pattern. But again it still seems like nothing. Or at least we usually tell our selves that. Some will claim that it's in the chemistry both literally and a matter of speaking. I don't discredit that. What I find boggling is that compared to what we as people normally do this one ritual if you will is so freeing.

Your mind is in a state of constant questioning. You are trying to figure out yourself and how you fit with this other who compels these emotions. You start to ration time and activities in order for another interaction. Without a meeting of the jury in your mind you blindly make radical small changes that normally would take some serious thought if you were being rational. But your blood is moving faster through your body making your heart beat steady on cue. You start to place so much importance on each question. Do you like this? With whatever answer is giving dictates your state of being that is put on hold while you wrestle with understanding this new creature. Like a small child in wonder you too are searching, probing, sifting through it all to seek understanding. The more and more this person seems to say, do, think, all the right things. You in turn start to change. Life around you begins to smell, taste, look different. It almost seems like a movie is being filmed on your life and this is an important chapter. Whatever you do, listen to, drive, work at, all start to be cemented in what is now a full blown living experience. All because some person caught your attention.

When these experiences go well people fall in love and get married. When they don't work out, we like a 3-week wagon jumper seek the nearest high to fly again. Some go right out and search like a detective for a quick answer to the loss. In doing this sometimes-cheapens the experience that before was brilliant but will now settle just to get a taste of living again. Some look patiently, but eager nonetheless to start the cycle again.

So many times in my own life I've seen a beautiful girl who seems to consume the very senses on the whim of just being herself. You wonder who she is? Does she like you? What does she like? What expectations does she have? Where has she been all this time? Will we get along? Should I call her? Should I go see her? Would she care? All of these stupid thoughts that in hindsight you would have all the right logical answers for. But in that moment the background is a light blue and only her face and your thoughts are in control. If you could, nothing would be impossible if only there could be a connection. What I have experienced is that it's those times we remember either good or bad that have an impact on us. Because to me at those moments, and others that are different we are truly living.

We all go through the same thing. Because you impacted someone to the point of madness or jubilation. You invoked a state of flux in someone for just being you.

Amazing.