I'm Awake.

I know you can't see me. I know you can't feel the warmth of my body or the beat of my heart next you. I try with all my might to reach you with my thoughts. I stare out the window toward the night sky and plead with the stars to let me speak with you or at least for them to tell you I'm thinking of you. It's been two days of this. When I awoke that morning my thoughts were my own company. It felt like a familiar friend that had long been gone. I wanted desperately for my thoughts to be reality so that I could be released from this inner torture of my soul. I want to give every ounce of my life force to have you and I together. After I have made this deal to the nameless shadow I look as to what this wish has granted me. I see you sitting on the beach with your hair blowing two the right as if it is fighting with wind for attention. Each strand is separating and coming back together with the greatest of ease. As I near you I feel the sand under my toes. It isn't hard but soft to the touch from the high tide. You turn to me, and I see the smile that makes me believe in your every word you have ever said. As I look in your eyes I know you love me. I stare back as if I could enter your very being in order to tell you I love you. I love you I say. My whole body is vibrating with the word and I feel as if a warm blanket is covering me. I really love her. Nothing can hinder me. I am able to do anything so long as she loves me and I her. I reach my hand to the side of her face and hold it with lightest of touch. My thumb next to her eyebrow I lean in and kiss her. As I press my lips to hers I feel the soft connection that makes reality fade from view and only we remain. As I pull out two inches I stare into your eyes. I whisper I love you and smile. You smile and stare back at me. With the smallest of effort you start to say I love you. But then it happens I blink. And your not there. I'm staring at the closet door in my room. You never finished the sentence which means it isn't true. My time is up and I want to find where to insert more coins to continue this intoxication. Why aren't you with me? Deep down I love you still. I stare at the wall in my room thinking of the past thoughts that felt so real. I think my words as if to speak to the nothingness. I want to hurl my words at the heartless that spawned these visions. I get up and head towards the door with out telling myself to do so. As I reach for the door I think, well I might as well go do something to bury these emotions. I open the door and think well now I'm Awake.