Introduction

The day I was born was not the day I was alive. In the real sense of things in this world we are all born but when we truly become alive is a different time entirely. Some still haven't reached this point of awaking from the zombie like coma that they have been instilled in since birth. Some follow blindly to what is said or told to them without a raise of any red flags in their heads. But the day I was really born was around the age of 15. To say the world was a different place wouldn't be true. Much of what was then still exists now but only with minor differences here and there. As the years would pass each would bring a finer tune and growing of this new life. But to live this new life had yet to be done. To make choices and take risks, well it just wasn't done at that time. I was still an infant in the respect of my new age and didn't know how to or what to do. But with each step and day new things were learned and added to this developing man. When it seemed that most of the required knowledge was learned to function from day to day, something seemed out of sorts. Much like a robot with no soul. I knew what to do, and how to do it, but had no purpose. Many things had sparked my interest here and there which seemed to me to be the start of finding a purpose. But to my dismay these things were shallow things that even if achieved would not bring what I wished.

Then I met her.

To me nothing could keep me from being utterly and completely attracted in every way. It seemed that everything I had learned and done was gone and out the window with this woman. Though she left me by the wayside I left with feeling more alive during those times with her then any I had lived before. When the beautiful play ended it felt like before. Going through life seemed so plain and not worth doing. Sometime would pass and none would meet the expectation of the first time with this woman, that is until now.

This is start of the story. From what I have gone through as of now seems to tell me that things are different. Although if I would try to write everyday on my thoughts and feelings. I may end up finding fault with the way I went about things. But this person, this beautiful, amazing woman. Is like the one before and yet better and different. I don't want to put my own wishes into reality that haven't the life to become real. So for each new day, each interaction, each last word. I begin to feel a new, a vigor of life, that only those who have tasted what flavor I speak could declare my thoughts factual. Now the grim tale of life and all stories is really life is a drama. In drama is tragedy and sadness. Mine is no different. Actually truth be told I could bottle up the misery and sadness from my adventures from birth to now to make for great books or films. I have become a consumer of problems and solutions knowing how and what to do. To connect this with the previous statement I wish to say that each day doesn't come without woe. But it does come with a smile, laughter, and a new love for someone which was feared to not come. I try my best to be the best for her and make sure when the this story is over that it is her and I who lay dead and gone together. So now begins the start of things unknown, again with the veil of mystery and excitement. With a hint of pain and joy, this ship is casting off not knowing when we will reach port again. My plan is to return with a smile and her with me. Wish me luck.

And now I leave you with words from a brilliant man.

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

-- C.S. Lewis