Dear God,
Father, what is happening to me? Father I know you are not doing this. Just last week with my Father. Now today with this. So many things going wrong. God I don't want to lose our house, I wish the engine in the only car we have God did n0t blow. I'm no saint Father, I sin daily. Father why? In my mind Lord I feel like Job, all my life it has been this way. I am blessed to be alive and living and not on the streets. But God I don't understand, can I please Lord just have some happiness? Or was the time I had with Kristen the last time I am ever truly going to know what it feels like to be happy. Lord is this a sign? Are you trying to close doors? I don't know God. I'm not you. I'm a scared boy trying to be a strong rock. Is all this a by product of my doing Lord? Have I sowed these seeds of evil and now am reaping them? Lord you don't cause this, I know. I know you are always with me, you standing next to me saying don't do that. But when I do, you let me. Because you love me. You gave me free will. I choose to hurt you and you stood by and said I love you and I can't stop you.
WHY GOD WHY!
Finally some normalcy had come to me after such a long time. Am I a marked man Lord? Have I done something to damn my soul? Father I am seeking your knowledge, your will, your love. I don't know, and I don't understand. I just feel everything going dark and something is being pulled away from me.
I need you. I need your help. I don't know what is going to happen. Once again, I'm left not in control just like that day in the courthouse. There is no one to comfort me or to guide me Lord. It is you. Father I am a lowly sinner who wishes to serve you. But I feel Lord as if I am deaf, blind, and dumb to you. I'm calling unto you God, my father, Creator, Savior.
Please meet me here and make me of stone again. Let me be a pillar to my Parents in this time of turmoil.
I love you. And I'm sorry.
God please handle this, I give these things to you. I don't know how much longer I can hold them.
In your name,
Amen.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
A Prayer
Posted by Ted at 12:46 PM
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3 comments:
my dear jay he hears your prayers i know that you may feel pain but he is your ultimate love he will never give you more than you can handle it may seem like it is but is truely not you can get through this he will lead the way you must follow not ask questions but go. you are his bride and does not want to damn you to hell but raise you up in his glory.
the day you gave christ your heart was the day satan realized he had lost another one of his people he didnt care before but now he does he will stone you thinking it will make you weak but with christ you stand strong and have to choose to stay there under christ wings
i pray for you always and ask that christ brings sunshine on your soul
i may have never been through what you have but i have had my fair share of stones thrown at me that i thought i could stand up to but i did and so can you
i love you jay jay the jet plane you are my best friend and brother
amen to the comment above. im sorry about all of this though. I pray you would encounter the Lords wonderful grace
Mmhmm, what Missy said. Also, don't forget the Psalms bro, people cried out to God and he still heard them. He's always got a plan, and even though nobody knows what it is, we know we can trust Him. I am prayin for you every day bro.
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